GOTTA LOVE THE BPM

Once again, this is something I responded to someone else that I wanted to keep....

For whatever reasons, life tends to want us to settle into things the more we age. When we're young, we have no choice but to try new things, because everything is new. In high school there are a variety of after school activities; in college there is even more to do, and it's easy and expected to sign up for a random class here and there that may not be too close to your comfort zone. But then life tends to demand that you stick pretty close to what you've already done and what you already are, because that's how you make money and survive, supposedly. Which maybe at one point made sense, but for a lot us now isn't necessarily the case. I for one am certainly not done developing and growing, and yet if we want to do it at this point we have to really go out there and do it. You have to seek it out. And it's a lot harder and scarier. It's kind of embarrassing to try something you don't already know how to do. And it's much easier not to.

I know because I too have experienced certain of these feelings - not depression so much, lately, but feeling myself being analytical and detached rather than living in the moment. Finding it almost impossible to live in the moment, rather than immediately see everything for what it is and what it means. And I also just started taking a class that makes me uncomfortable because I know nothing about it and I have to really focus and concentrate and practice to be any good at it. It's been awhile since I really seriously learned anything new. You almost forget that you can learn new things at this point. And I for once have found it a lot harder to focus and get in there and do the work now, as opposed to even a few years ago, when it wouldn't be such a big deal. I'm kind of hoping that jumping through this hoop and really working on one new thing will open the doors for more, because I'm not satisfied with just the skills I have, but I didn't realize how much harder it would be to do new things after the fact, or I probably would have gotten myself started on a bunch of stuff sooner.