Once again, this is something I responded to someone else that I wanted to keep....
For whatever reasons, life tends to want us to settle into things the more we age. When we're young, we have no choice but to try new things, because everything is new. In high school there are a variety of after school activities; in college there is even more to do, and it's easy and expected to sign up for a random class here and there that may not be too close to your comfort zone. But then life tends to demand that you stick pretty close to what you've already done and what you already are, because that's how you make money and survive, supposedly. Which maybe at one point made sense, but for a lot us now isn't necessarily the case. I for one am certainly not done developing and growing, and yet if we want to do it at this point we have to really go out there and do it. You have to seek it out. And it's a lot harder and scarier. It's kind of embarrassing to try something you don't already know how to do. And it's much easier not to.
I know because I too have experienced certain of these feelings - not depression so much, lately, but feeling myself being analytical and detached rather than living in the moment. Finding it almost impossible to live in the moment, rather than immediately see everything for what it is and what it means. And I also just started taking a class that makes me uncomfortable because I know nothing about it and I have to really focus and concentrate and practice to be any good at it. It's been awhile since I really seriously learned anything new. You almost forget that you can learn new things at this point. And I for once have found it a lot harder to focus and get in there and do the work now, as opposed to even a few years ago, when it wouldn't be such a big deal. I'm kind of hoping that jumping through this hoop and really working on one new thing will open the doors for more, because I'm not satisfied with just the skills I have, but I didn't realize how much harder it would be to do new things after the fact, or I probably would have gotten myself started on a bunch of stuff sooner.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
"EVERYBODY SHOULD HAVE ONE TALENT. WHAT'S YOURS?"
*
When people ask me who my favorite writers and/or directors are, I always mention Anthony Minghella, and they never know who that is. He hasn't made a large number of films and he's far from a household name, but the films he's made are classy and elegant, and in at least a couple cases, brilliant. Plus he's that rare breed of writer/director. There is a consistency and specificity of vision that comes through almost solely on films directed by the person who wrote them that his films have, a perfect blend of screenplay and direction coming together to tell a story. It's what I want to do, and I admire the relatively small number of people out there who are able to do it and do it well. Anthony Minghella was one of them.
The English Patient won acclaim (and Best picture) long before I saw it. For awhile, it was most memorable to me for that episode of "Seinfeld" where Elaine pretends she hasn't seen it because she didn't like it and everyone else loves it, and then has to go see it again. It's a great movie that I want to watch again sometime, especially now, but since I didn't see it when it came out, it's just one of those fantastic movies I experienced after the fact, like Raging Bull or Casablanca.
Cold Mountain is a movie that I hear a fair amount of people say they didn't like, though I can never understand why. I think it's simply beautiful, heartbreakingly beautiful, and it affects me a lot more than The English Patient did. (Again, this may be the difference between seeing a movie in theaters, twice, and once with the director speaking afterward, and on a tiny TV on DVD.) But I also think it's just such an interesting story, set in such an interesting time, and it feels closer because it's American history. I love the fact that Ada and Inman know each other only briefly. Relationships back then were differentl courtship was often brief, if there even was one, practical strangers would be married and have to "love" each other. So the fact that their brief encounter leads them to "love" each other for years makes sense in that time period. Besides, their love has very little to do with the other person; it's something to hold onto, a face to put on a feeling. I've done that before. I've held on insanely tightly to a one-sided love. I know how such a strong feeling - even if part of it is only imagined - can get you through just about anything. It can keep you alive when you otherwise might not be. So this movie speaks to me. It also has gorgeous cinematography and an absolutely wonderful soundtrack, and it is one of the crimes of the century that it was not nominated for Best Picture. The 2004 Academy Awards nominated Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (which was of course undefeatable that year), as well as Mystic River, Lost in Translation, Master & Commander: The Far Side of the World, and Seabiscuit. Yes, Seabiscuit. I would argue that Cold Mountain is a far better film than any of those four nominees (Return of the King is debatable), but Seabiscuit's nomination is almost a joke. Supposedly many Academy members were mad that Minghella filmed an American history movie in Europe - which he did primarily because they have old growth forests there, so the tress would look like they did before we cut them all down - and that's why the movie was snubbed. Seabiscuit on the other hand is as American as apple pie, though it's about as tasteless and hard to swallow as, well, a seabiscuit. Anyway, Cold Mountain is one of the most lyrical and haunting love stories I've ever seen, mostly because it's not about a love between two people, but they love they each hold onto in order to survive a dark time filled with many perils.
And The Talented Mr. Ripley. I almost can't start talking about how good this movie is, because I'll never stop. For one, it has a dream cast: Matt Damon, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Cate Blanchett. It's probably the best acting the three leads have ever done. Cate Blanchett, who of course has been astounding in just about everything, consistently amazes me at the way she was able to take such a small role in this film and make it seem so larger-than-life and important. On the page, there's not much to her character Meredith Logue - she's a rich girl with a crush. But in the film, you just want to see more of her. You want to watch a whole movie about her. That's a true sign of a brilliant actress. This role basically made Jude Law a star (and an Oscar nominee) and it's a brilliant character and a brilliant performance, so dynamic. Dickie Greenleaf needed to be someone you love to hate, and such a dynamic presence that you both feel his absence after he's gone, yet also still feel his presence lingering. And this is Matt Damon's best performance - I wish he'd do something else challenging like this, because I like him, and yet he doesn't take many difficult roles. Here he's simply great at getting every one of Tom Ripley's emotions right, giving us just enough but never too much. It's the best movie I've ever seen about duplicity, it's one of the all-time greatest character studies, and even though almost everyone I know likes it, I think it's one of the most underrated movies ever made. Of course the writing and direction are what truly make it exceptional, and it's a brilliant script with fantastic direction. I think it's a perfect movie and easily my favorite, the one I connect to the most. It might be weird to say that a killer is the film character I have found myself most similar to, but it's Tom's inability to reconcile the different sides of himself, his struggle with self-acceptance, his search for himself in others' lives, his obsession with appearances and transformation, his shame of his sexuality, his ultimate failure in creating the identity he strives for, his constant desperation at trying to keep up a life that doesn't belong to him, his dueling desires for things that contradict each other, his talent for figuring people out and manipulating them, and his envy of privileged people who don't have to deal with any of this. Plus it's set in 1950's Italy! What could possibly be a more appealing.
What makes Anthony Minghella's death really tragic is that he only made a small number of films, and there is the feeling that he would have made several more that were high quality, that were brilliant, that would win awards. It is the same with Heath Ledger's passing - he really didn't get a chance to show the world everything he could do, and future art will suffer from the losses. And while Ledger was certainly young, so was Anthony Minghella at 54, at least for a director. I have a troubling sense that some of my favorite movies will now never be made.
After seeing Cold Mountain and hearing him speak, I went to a book signing with Anthony Minghella to get him to sign my copy of The Talented Mr. Ripley screenplay, as well as a couple Cold Mountain books. He was an extremely kind and intelligent man, and it was one of my favorite encounters with someone I really admire. It was January of 2004, and I'd recently dressed as a "rock star goth" for Halloween and still had some of that influence in my wardrobe. He asked if I was an actor, and I said no, I'm a writer. But then as I left I wondered if I should have said yes and seen if he would put me in one of his movies. Anyway, I guess I'm glad I at least got to meet him. I got a sense from our brief meeting that we would meet again someday, that the story wasn't over.
But I guess it is.
So here's to the Mysterious Yearning Secretive Sad Lonely Troubled Confused Loving Musical Gifted Intelligent Beautiful Tender Sensitive Haunted Passionate Talented Mr. Minghella.
When people ask me who my favorite writers and/or directors are, I always mention Anthony Minghella, and they never know who that is. He hasn't made a large number of films and he's far from a household name, but the films he's made are classy and elegant, and in at least a couple cases, brilliant. Plus he's that rare breed of writer/director. There is a consistency and specificity of vision that comes through almost solely on films directed by the person who wrote them that his films have, a perfect blend of screenplay and direction coming together to tell a story. It's what I want to do, and I admire the relatively small number of people out there who are able to do it and do it well. Anthony Minghella was one of them.
The English Patient won acclaim (and Best picture) long before I saw it. For awhile, it was most memorable to me for that episode of "Seinfeld" where Elaine pretends she hasn't seen it because she didn't like it and everyone else loves it, and then has to go see it again. It's a great movie that I want to watch again sometime, especially now, but since I didn't see it when it came out, it's just one of those fantastic movies I experienced after the fact, like Raging Bull or Casablanca.
Cold Mountain is a movie that I hear a fair amount of people say they didn't like, though I can never understand why. I think it's simply beautiful, heartbreakingly beautiful, and it affects me a lot more than The English Patient did. (Again, this may be the difference between seeing a movie in theaters, twice, and once with the director speaking afterward, and on a tiny TV on DVD.) But I also think it's just such an interesting story, set in such an interesting time, and it feels closer because it's American history. I love the fact that Ada and Inman know each other only briefly. Relationships back then were differentl courtship was often brief, if there even was one, practical strangers would be married and have to "love" each other. So the fact that their brief encounter leads them to "love" each other for years makes sense in that time period. Besides, their love has very little to do with the other person; it's something to hold onto, a face to put on a feeling. I've done that before. I've held on insanely tightly to a one-sided love. I know how such a strong feeling - even if part of it is only imagined - can get you through just about anything. It can keep you alive when you otherwise might not be. So this movie speaks to me. It also has gorgeous cinematography and an absolutely wonderful soundtrack, and it is one of the crimes of the century that it was not nominated for Best Picture. The 2004 Academy Awards nominated Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (which was of course undefeatable that year), as well as Mystic River, Lost in Translation, Master & Commander: The Far Side of the World, and Seabiscuit. Yes, Seabiscuit. I would argue that Cold Mountain is a far better film than any of those four nominees (Return of the King is debatable), but Seabiscuit's nomination is almost a joke. Supposedly many Academy members were mad that Minghella filmed an American history movie in Europe - which he did primarily because they have old growth forests there, so the tress would look like they did before we cut them all down - and that's why the movie was snubbed. Seabiscuit on the other hand is as American as apple pie, though it's about as tasteless and hard to swallow as, well, a seabiscuit. Anyway, Cold Mountain is one of the most lyrical and haunting love stories I've ever seen, mostly because it's not about a love between two people, but they love they each hold onto in order to survive a dark time filled with many perils.
And The Talented Mr. Ripley. I almost can't start talking about how good this movie is, because I'll never stop. For one, it has a dream cast: Matt Damon, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Cate Blanchett. It's probably the best acting the three leads have ever done. Cate Blanchett, who of course has been astounding in just about everything, consistently amazes me at the way she was able to take such a small role in this film and make it seem so larger-than-life and important. On the page, there's not much to her character Meredith Logue - she's a rich girl with a crush. But in the film, you just want to see more of her. You want to watch a whole movie about her. That's a true sign of a brilliant actress. This role basically made Jude Law a star (and an Oscar nominee) and it's a brilliant character and a brilliant performance, so dynamic. Dickie Greenleaf needed to be someone you love to hate, and such a dynamic presence that you both feel his absence after he's gone, yet also still feel his presence lingering. And this is Matt Damon's best performance - I wish he'd do something else challenging like this, because I like him, and yet he doesn't take many difficult roles. Here he's simply great at getting every one of Tom Ripley's emotions right, giving us just enough but never too much. It's the best movie I've ever seen about duplicity, it's one of the all-time greatest character studies, and even though almost everyone I know likes it, I think it's one of the most underrated movies ever made. Of course the writing and direction are what truly make it exceptional, and it's a brilliant script with fantastic direction. I think it's a perfect movie and easily my favorite, the one I connect to the most. It might be weird to say that a killer is the film character I have found myself most similar to, but it's Tom's inability to reconcile the different sides of himself, his struggle with self-acceptance, his search for himself in others' lives, his obsession with appearances and transformation, his shame of his sexuality, his ultimate failure in creating the identity he strives for, his constant desperation at trying to keep up a life that doesn't belong to him, his dueling desires for things that contradict each other, his talent for figuring people out and manipulating them, and his envy of privileged people who don't have to deal with any of this. Plus it's set in 1950's Italy! What could possibly be a more appealing.
What makes Anthony Minghella's death really tragic is that he only made a small number of films, and there is the feeling that he would have made several more that were high quality, that were brilliant, that would win awards. It is the same with Heath Ledger's passing - he really didn't get a chance to show the world everything he could do, and future art will suffer from the losses. And while Ledger was certainly young, so was Anthony Minghella at 54, at least for a director. I have a troubling sense that some of my favorite movies will now never be made.
After seeing Cold Mountain and hearing him speak, I went to a book signing with Anthony Minghella to get him to sign my copy of The Talented Mr. Ripley screenplay, as well as a couple Cold Mountain books. He was an extremely kind and intelligent man, and it was one of my favorite encounters with someone I really admire. It was January of 2004, and I'd recently dressed as a "rock star goth" for Halloween and still had some of that influence in my wardrobe. He asked if I was an actor, and I said no, I'm a writer. But then as I left I wondered if I should have said yes and seen if he would put me in one of his movies. Anyway, I guess I'm glad I at least got to meet him. I got a sense from our brief meeting that we would meet again someday, that the story wasn't over.
But I guess it is.
So here's to the Mysterious Yearning Secretive Sad Lonely Troubled Confused Loving Musical Gifted Intelligent Beautiful Tender Sensitive Haunted Passionate Talented Mr. Minghella.
IN RESPONSE
I made a blog a long time ago, and then never posted on it. I've had others, most notably LiveJournal, that I still write on, so I'm not sure why I would need another, what the difference would be, but here it is. This one is meant to be a more casual and random blog for the public eye.
Anyway, below is a comment I posted to Tiffany, but I decided I'd like to keep it somewhere, so here it is:
I see memories with different shades of colors too, which I always thought of as an extension of my filmmaking skills, because when I imagine certain films of mine, they have different color and lighting schemes. It's interesting the way we end up remembering things, and how hazy and dream-like even things that really happened are. We often lose the context of what was happening at the time and remember mostly the emotions and a few physical details. In a way I wish there was, say, footage of all these moments, but then again I think it would be terrifying to see what was actually going on, versus what we have been telling ourselves it was like. On an only somewhat-related note, my computer saves IM conversations so I can read things I have forgotten I talked about with people 5 years ago. It's eerie because IM's sound so robotic and emotionless, you read words you've written and it's like, "Really? Was I really so cold and arrogant?" But since these are just words with no attachment to physical details, I guess it can't be judged.
When I was little - I may have even told you this before - I had heard that the universe goes on forever, and I simply refused to believe it. I could not comprehend forever. It scared the shit out of me. I just let myself think that everyone else was wrong, because of course the universe MUST end. Everything must come to a logical conclusion, somehow, somewhere. Yet I remember this puzzle keeping me up at night, and my parents would have to come in and talk to me to calm down my wondering mind. Then one of these nights, my beastly father said, "Well if the universe ends, then what's on the other side?" And that question blew my mind and seriously upset me, because I realized that of course he was right. "Nothing" can't exist, because even nothing would have to be something. But how can there be a limitless forever? How is that possible? By human understanding, it simply isn't possible, and yet it's opposite isn't possible either, so there is just a whole lot of impossible out there whether we like it or not. It made me cry at the time...I still don't like to think about it.
Anyway, below is a comment I posted to Tiffany, but I decided I'd like to keep it somewhere, so here it is:
I see memories with different shades of colors too, which I always thought of as an extension of my filmmaking skills, because when I imagine certain films of mine, they have different color and lighting schemes. It's interesting the way we end up remembering things, and how hazy and dream-like even things that really happened are. We often lose the context of what was happening at the time and remember mostly the emotions and a few physical details. In a way I wish there was, say, footage of all these moments, but then again I think it would be terrifying to see what was actually going on, versus what we have been telling ourselves it was like. On an only somewhat-related note, my computer saves IM conversations so I can read things I have forgotten I talked about with people 5 years ago. It's eerie because IM's sound so robotic and emotionless, you read words you've written and it's like, "Really? Was I really so cold and arrogant?" But since these are just words with no attachment to physical details, I guess it can't be judged.
When I was little - I may have even told you this before - I had heard that the universe goes on forever, and I simply refused to believe it. I could not comprehend forever. It scared the shit out of me. I just let myself think that everyone else was wrong, because of course the universe MUST end. Everything must come to a logical conclusion, somehow, somewhere. Yet I remember this puzzle keeping me up at night, and my parents would have to come in and talk to me to calm down my wondering mind. Then one of these nights, my beastly father said, "Well if the universe ends, then what's on the other side?" And that question blew my mind and seriously upset me, because I realized that of course he was right. "Nothing" can't exist, because even nothing would have to be something. But how can there be a limitless forever? How is that possible? By human understanding, it simply isn't possible, and yet it's opposite isn't possible either, so there is just a whole lot of impossible out there whether we like it or not. It made me cry at the time...I still don't like to think about it.
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